i'm having trouble relating to eclipse season. i don't feel able to observe any astronomical event at this time because I'm inverted and underground and in outer space all at once, deeply rooted in the massive grief of losing my dad this May. i keep saying that i live on grief planet now, a profoundly quiet and dense place whose orbit is something interstitial but wholly separate from Earth, Sun, Moon. even in communities dedicated to liberation, it can feel like grief planet is in constant eclipse mode - shrouded and unseen despite its inevitable and reflective glow. it's in in these depths where i try to find my breath, lay with this grief, and honor all the alchemists who know the elements of this place as intimately as their own bodies, the whole cosmos.